Hospital

I know, I know, the hospital adventure is all in the past and all anyone cares to see or read about now is Macey. If that’s how you feel about it, I’m sorry. You’ll have to deal with this post anyway.

On August 29, 2010, Brittney and I left for the Utah Valley Intermountain Healthcare hospital on 500 West around 6:00AM. Apparently, this is also where Kariah was born. We were checked in and shown to what would be our room for the next eight hours or so. The room was nice, had the “home” feeling, I guess. What I liked to see was the large couch which could be used to sleep on. Little did I know that when it came time to sleep, we’d be in another room without such a wonderful couch.

 
Above, you can see the final picture of Brittney and I childless, and the final preggo picture of Brittney.

Brittney was induced around 7:30 and did have contractions most of the morning. She did not feel many of the early ones and was able to rest. As the day went on, however, the contractions not only became stronger, but moved from her front to her back. I guess this is called “back labor,” and is super painful. It was no different for Brittney. Even as a spectator, I saw the intense pain. It did not take long to change Brittney’s mind and ask for an epidural. Brittney is a pretty tough girl, too tough sometimes, and waited until around 1:00 when she finally asked to endure the pain no more. Below is an illustration of before and after the epidural.

As you can imagine, I assumed photography during the most intense pain was prohibited. Hopefully the illustration will capture the essence of her pain. After the epidural, Brittney was able to sleep/rest, on and off while nurses continued to check her dilation status. I recall it being around 2:00 when she scored a 5 on the dilation scale. Less than an hour later, nearing the 3:00 hour, the nurses came to check, and found a head. Very quickly, the appropriate tables, instruments, staff, and Dr. Nance made their way into the room. At 3:11, weighing in at a ground shattering 6 lbs 12 oz, measuring a towering 19 inches, Macey Michelle Jones was born.

The nursing staff cleaned her and weighed her while Dr. Nance finished up with Brittney. I didn’t even think that there might be “loose ends to tie up” with her. No one ever talks about what needs to be taken care of with the mother after the baby comes out. They talk about pregnancy, labor, and then all the focus is on the baby. Sure they talk about the afterbirth (which some cultures will eat………..utterly revolting), which they threw in a bucket. I was cool with that. I followed Macey to the nursery while Brittney was prepped and moved to our new room. They cleaned her again, this time with water, and also took a small blood sample to check blood sugar. Our new room was smaller, without a couch for me L. This hospital offered “room service” for food. And check out the menu! I was excited:

While the menu looked fabulous and Brittney was ecstatic, turns out that menu’s picture was misleading and Brittney was drugged. Also, she hadn’t eaten all day. My meal was ok, but they shorted me by one roll-no one will ever impress me that way. The cheesecake was satisfactory. That night was more or less sleepless for Brittney. She didn’t bother to wake me too many times in my makeshift-chair-pullout-bed. It was actually more comfortable than it looks.

The next morning Brittney had breakfast at the hospital. If I wanted to, I would have had to pay. I opted to pay for something that was good, like a sausage, egg and biscuit sandwich from Carl’s Jr. If you like that kind of food, I highly recommend it. The biscuits were fantastic. After breakfast, we were ready to leave the hospital, but Macey still needed to have her blood sugar tested every few hours up until 24hrs from her arrival, so we hung out in the room nursing, napping, snacking, and watching an 80s info video about caring for your child (the hospital made us watch it). Oh yes, the lactation witch nazi. Brittney and I felt the nursing was progressing wonderfully, but then she came in. We didn’t ask for her help. Apparently, Brittney was performing the nursing ordinance incorrectly. After some “coaching” from the lactation witch nazi, Brittney and Macey were trying all kinds of different “football” and “side to side” holds when the original, comfortable, and successful cradle hold was working just fine. After she left us alone, we pretty much disregarded everything she’d said, except one thing: she said, “….you have nice nipples.” We finally received the green light to go home and with are new cute bundle of joy, we exited.

And, in case you’re wondering why people become doctors, this may be one reason (at least for Dr. Nance).